Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I want a musical about memes.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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