Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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