Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
