the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
