i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just google imaged poop.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
