i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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