i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
"it" just moved
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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