YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
