If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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