my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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