Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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