he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
