At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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