porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
