there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
