she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
