Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
