i think my mom watched the whole time
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
