you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
