Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
