i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
