Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
