Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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