Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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