No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
