Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
