SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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