You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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