This girl is more easily done than said...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
