My brain says no but my pants say off.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize