I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
