i already hear my dad disowning me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
