why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
