I need help removing her.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
