Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
