I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
