So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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