did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize