Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
