You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
