we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My bed smells like the plague
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
