You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
