how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize