D3 body, D1 cock
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
