i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
