well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize