What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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