You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so let's talk penis.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
