Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
