i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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