If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
