so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
