i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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