Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
