remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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