It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
