I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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