waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
