well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just tell him i said nine months
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
