i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
