it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i think my cat just said my name.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
