What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize