he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My dick has a subreddit
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
