dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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