Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
